I have seen many things in my life that fit into the mold of "ridiculous" but I have to admit, this "takes the cake."
http://www.whiteboydj.com/babygotbook.html
Follow this link to a rap parody of "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-Lot. The song is universally regarded as one of the most vile and lewd songs about women. In this rendition, the object being "oogled" is the size of a girl's Bible.
I don't know what makes a person spend the time to come up with this stuff. I do have to admit that it is equally funny and sad. A good mixture of entertainment, but a sad statement about the "seriousness" of some Christian's faith(s).
Neal Mathis
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
The Legend of Adam B----!
For the past 11 or so months, I have had the privilege of knowing the man, the myth, and the legend of Adam B----! His name is being hidden to protect the countless innocent people who have been effected by this "powderkeg of humanity!" What I am here today to do is tell you a simple story of his wonder and glory! One that will let each of you who doesn't know "The Adam B----" to gain a little access into his life.
Take yourself back to any summer of your teenage-hood. Imagine, once again, the sweat of a hard day's work, the taste of really sweet Kool-Aid, and the sting of one too many candy bars before swimming. In that line of thinking, also look back at the mission trips you or those you know have taken.
The setting is Newport, Kentucky at the Garrard St. Church. The boys (myself, Hunter D-----, and the aforementioned Adam B----) were given the opportunity to stay in the apartment above the fellowship hall. Times were good. The "Male-bonding" was rampant. However, all the adventures came to a roaring stop when I was poisoned by those dreaded villians of LaRosa's Pizza! (By the way, their future is in weight-loss! "La Rosa's Pizza: Lose 10 Pounds in 2 Days!")
After the second day of dreadful and violent regurgetation, I was almost to the end of the road. There simply wasn't anything left to come up! The poison wanted to inflict one last sense of anguish on its victim though! I woke up early that morning and was very quickly hugging the porcelain throne. I rushed in to the "john" so quickly that I didn't even notice Hunter in the shower!
What I did notice (hear actually) was Adam B---- leaping from the bed in his domicile, camera in hand. With a sudden click I was photogenically violated. The picture, which has since been deleted was and is a testament to the uniqueness of "The Adam B----!"
There are many theories as to why a grown, healthy, and fairly normal man would take a picture of a half-naked bent over the toilet man! None of them seem to make any sense when applied to this story! My theory seems to be simple yet conclusive. "The Adam B----" doesn't have to have a reason to do anything! If he wants his ying to be out of place with his yang, it's okay! No one should ever question that. Quite simply, the legend of "The Adam B----" is this.
He is who he is and there is no one who will ever understand that!
Neal Mathis
Take yourself back to any summer of your teenage-hood. Imagine, once again, the sweat of a hard day's work, the taste of really sweet Kool-Aid, and the sting of one too many candy bars before swimming. In that line of thinking, also look back at the mission trips you or those you know have taken.
The setting is Newport, Kentucky at the Garrard St. Church. The boys (myself, Hunter D-----, and the aforementioned Adam B----) were given the opportunity to stay in the apartment above the fellowship hall. Times were good. The "Male-bonding" was rampant. However, all the adventures came to a roaring stop when I was poisoned by those dreaded villians of LaRosa's Pizza! (By the way, their future is in weight-loss! "La Rosa's Pizza: Lose 10 Pounds in 2 Days!")
After the second day of dreadful and violent regurgetation, I was almost to the end of the road. There simply wasn't anything left to come up! The poison wanted to inflict one last sense of anguish on its victim though! I woke up early that morning and was very quickly hugging the porcelain throne. I rushed in to the "john" so quickly that I didn't even notice Hunter in the shower!
What I did notice (hear actually) was Adam B---- leaping from the bed in his domicile, camera in hand. With a sudden click I was photogenically violated. The picture, which has since been deleted was and is a testament to the uniqueness of "The Adam B----!"
There are many theories as to why a grown, healthy, and fairly normal man would take a picture of a half-naked bent over the toilet man! None of them seem to make any sense when applied to this story! My theory seems to be simple yet conclusive. "The Adam B----" doesn't have to have a reason to do anything! If he wants his ying to be out of place with his yang, it's okay! No one should ever question that. Quite simply, the legend of "The Adam B----" is this.
He is who he is and there is no one who will ever understand that!
Neal Mathis
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Marcey - A Man of Her Word
For those of us who were on the last trip to Dexter, a single moment stands out as almost historic. On our way back home, somewhere around the outskirts of Paducah, Jonathan made a mistake that he would eventually come to regret.
As the story goes, Annie was talking about one of her teachers at school who had compared a girl's purity to chocolate. Jonathan made the funny, albeit foolish and rude remarke that was heard round the van and the world! "Marcey - your chocolate's bad!"
In the moment, laughter and hysteria filled the van. Above the noise came a voice from, well, you know where. "Jonathan, I will get you back!"
Most of us in the van expected the punishment to come in a realitively close interval. However, the payback was pushed aside. Marcey waited for the opportune time to pounce. Her patience paid off in the best of ways.
Fast-forwarding to the summer, we find several of the members of the youth group, including Jonathan and Marcey, working during a service project at the buidling. Suddenly, a voice crys out, "No!" Who could it be? I run up the hallway and see Jonathan beneath Stephanie and Annie, with Marcey circling like a hungry lion, "duck" tape in hand.
Without the ability to stop it or turn my eyes from it, I watch as Jonathan is mercilously tied up and put in a desk chair. I can almost see the joy in the eyes of the girls. For Marcey, the joy is in the revenge. For Annie, the joy is in the respect she's earning from her little brother. For Stephanie, the joy is in the trampeling of Jonathan.
I don't have the words to describe the look on Jonathan's face, the twinkle in the eye of his captors, or the sheer amount of effort it took to subdue the tiny, yet fierce captive.
What I do have though, is a picture! A really funny picture! Take the link on this page entitled "Youth Group Photos." It will take you to our new page at Flickr.com. When you take a look at the infamous photo ask yourself, "Can I miss the photo of a tied-up pre-teen and a girl like Marcey who is without a doubt, a "Man of Her Word?" The answer is a resounding "No!"
Neal Mathis
As the story goes, Annie was talking about one of her teachers at school who had compared a girl's purity to chocolate. Jonathan made the funny, albeit foolish and rude remarke that was heard round the van and the world! "Marcey - your chocolate's bad!"
In the moment, laughter and hysteria filled the van. Above the noise came a voice from, well, you know where. "Jonathan, I will get you back!"
Most of us in the van expected the punishment to come in a realitively close interval. However, the payback was pushed aside. Marcey waited for the opportune time to pounce. Her patience paid off in the best of ways.
Fast-forwarding to the summer, we find several of the members of the youth group, including Jonathan and Marcey, working during a service project at the buidling. Suddenly, a voice crys out, "No!" Who could it be? I run up the hallway and see Jonathan beneath Stephanie and Annie, with Marcey circling like a hungry lion, "duck" tape in hand.
Without the ability to stop it or turn my eyes from it, I watch as Jonathan is mercilously tied up and put in a desk chair. I can almost see the joy in the eyes of the girls. For Marcey, the joy is in the revenge. For Annie, the joy is in the respect she's earning from her little brother. For Stephanie, the joy is in the trampeling of Jonathan.
I don't have the words to describe the look on Jonathan's face, the twinkle in the eye of his captors, or the sheer amount of effort it took to subdue the tiny, yet fierce captive.
What I do have though, is a picture! A really funny picture! Take the link on this page entitled "Youth Group Photos." It will take you to our new page at Flickr.com. When you take a look at the infamous photo ask yourself, "Can I miss the photo of a tied-up pre-teen and a girl like Marcey who is without a doubt, a "Man of Her Word?" The answer is a resounding "No!"
Neal Mathis
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